A Job for Sanosuke Omake
by Shirou Shinjin
Summary: With AJfS finished, it's time to take one final potshot at the longsuffering characters. Raised rating for slightly... suggestive content in the first omake.
1. Omake 1: An Overhead Conversation

**A Job for Sanosuke**

_Omake 1 – An Overheard Conversation_

By Shirou Shinjin.

**Disclaimer:** I have not, do not, and most likely will never own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to borrow them for a bit, k?

* * *

Yahiko was sweeping up the floor when Sano sauntered in. He checked the clock on the wall to see if it had become lunchtime while he wasn't looking. It wasn't, which confused him since Sano had no reason to be here this early.

None the less, it only took a few moments for an ecstatic Tae to drag Sano upstairs. For some reason, Tae had been all hyper this morning, and it was starting to creep him out. Tae _never_ got like that unless she was up to something. Even Tsubame seemed to be... quiet... well, more quiet than usual... as if she was dreading something.

Throwing caution to the wind, he crept up the stairs to see if he could overhear anything useful.

"No. Absolutely not! I am not doing it!"

"Pleeeeeeease, Sano-han?" Now this was interesting...

"What kind of a man do you think I am?"

"But... you promised you'd do this for me..."

"Anything else, Tae—anything! Suppose Jou-chan found out, or... or the kitsune..."

"Sanosuke, it's either this or the money. Then again, there's always the alternative involving handcuffs..." Handcuffs?

"I'll do it naked—I don't care! Anything but that!"

"Sano..."

"Fine."

"Quickly—strip out of those so we can get started!" What the... why did Tae want Sano to _strip_! What could she possibly want him to do that... Yahiko didn't really want to think about it, now that he came to it.

"I don't think this is going to work, you know."

"Oh, and why's that?"

"I'm too big."

"Rubbish. It should fit like a glove."

"I'm telling you, I'm too... ugh... big... ugh." Now Sano was making _grunting_ noises! What was going on in there!

"Oh stop being a baby—just try harder." Now he could hear banging noises coming from inside. Whatever was going on in there, something was bouncing up and down like there was no tomorrow...

"Can't... get... head... through..." Through _what_!

"Just push a little harder, Sano. It's not going to bite you."

"Wouldn't surprise me. I'd hate to tear anything..."

"That's sweet of you to say, Sanosuke-han, but it should be more than flexible enough to put up with a little stretching."

"I'm through!"

"Very good, Sanosuke-han. That wasn't so bad, now was it?"

"Well now that you mention it, it's... hey! Yes it was! And it's still _pink!_"

"Yes, yes... are you coming now, Sano?"

"Yeah, yeah..."

"Sano!" he heard Tae cry. That was it. Yahiko didn't know what was going on in there, and he didn't _want_ to know. He backed away from the door, and stumbled down the stairs as quick as he could. When he heard sounds from upstairs, he quickly picked up the broom and gave it a few token sweeps.

Still, all weird thoughts were pushed out of his brain the moment he saw Sano... and promptly passed out.

_ Owari _

* * *

**Author's Rambling**

While this wasn't a _complete_ accident, I certainly never wrote that section of the story with this in mind.

When I write scenes like this, I tend to just write out the dialogue without any description, and add that in later to make the scene a little clearer. But when I read back over the dialogue, I suddenly realised that it could be... misinterpreted.

Rather than rework it to avoid that, I reworded it to enhance the effect as much as I dared, then added lots of description to counteract that. And so this omake was born... and has been hiding in the second chapter the whole time. Having lived with the yakuza as long as he had, and considering what he mother had been doing before she died, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if Yahiko knew _exactly_ what he thought he was hearing.

But I like to think that at his age, he'd rather not deal with it. Besides, everyone seems to be suffering a severe case of denial in this story...

Until next time,

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

_22nd April, 2006_


	2. Omake 2: Unwitting Informants

**A Job for Sanosuke**

_Omake 2 – Unwitting Informants_

By Shirou Shinjin.

**Disclaimer:** I have not, do not, and most likely will never own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to borrow them for a bit, k?

* * *

The man was a mess. He had several nasty bruises on his arms, and a huge black and purple bulge on the side of his face. His friends weren't much better, either.

Strangely, the police officer that dropped the three men off at the clinic had just shaken his head and mumbled something about "idiot yakuza punks" and left. Megumi could only assume that the officer felt the three had gotten what they deserved.

And although she had a job to do—namely patching them back together—she couldn't help but wonder why they were are shaken up as they were. She suspected it had something to do with a certain rooster-head, if the fist marks were any indication. She'd held those hands enough times to know their shape...

Megumi forced the image of Sanosuke's strong, masculine hands...

Megumi refocused herself on her patient who was short, snivelly and smelt like spilt soba. There, much better. Now to find out what happened.

"So, mind telling me why you look like you were hit by a carriage?" she pried gently. The boy just shook his head and said nothing. So they wanted to play it the hard way, did they? Well, Takani Megumi was never one to back down from a challenge.

She put on her most male-brain-melting smile, and tried the old buttering-up technique. "Well, they certainly must have ganged up on you, to have badly beaten three such fit young men..."

The two in the back had clearly heard her, and were now looking at her curiously. The one she was currently treating still seemed a little leery. Time to push the advantage...

"And what an awful thing to do! There must have been at least a dozen of them, if not more! The shame of attacking innocent young men like that!" It was probably all lies... he was an idiot, but Sanosuke didn't beat people up randomly. But she had to stroke their ego if she wanted any information from them.

"Ye... yeah... not fair at all..." her patient muttered. And so it begins.

"It's such a shame that there are such violent people in our city. I'll bet it was one of those no-good ruffians who started the whole thing, right?"

"Yeah; right! It's all that weirdo's fault." The two in back nodded to this.

"Which weirdo was that? I only ask so I know to steer clear of him..."

The dim-witted fool thought this over for a moment before coughing uncomfortably. "That pink-wearing weirdo."

Ken-san! Why would Ken-san beat up... no, that didn't make sense. If Ken-san was responsible for this, they'd still be unconscious, and with sakabatou marks on them. Maybe he asked Sano to... but...

"You mean that red-haired man that carries a sword?" She didn't believe this, there _had_ to be another explanation.

"No; not him. The other pink-wearing weirdo." Oh, so there's _two_ of them, now.

"I... I can't say I've ever heard of him before." Megumi thought for a moment as she wrapped a bandage around the boy's arm. "There wasn't a tall man with a red bandanna, wearing a white jacket involved, was there?"

"Hey, yeah, that was him! That was the weirdo!" This was getting weird. Sano wears white. But they were talking about someone wearing pink...

"But you said he was wearing pink. Doesn't he usually wear white?"

The one she was treating spoke up next. "Yeah, well; we thought so, too. But you shoulda seen the weirdo yesterday at that restaurant..."

An image of a strangely familiar waiter in a hideous pink kimono floating into Megumi's mind, and she smiled. "Do tell..."

_ Owari _

* * *

**Author's Rambling**

I never intended to write this. I was seriously prepared to let Sano off the hook with Megumi entirely. She was just supposed to walk away and never know the pretty waiter in pink was Sanosuke.

But my reviewers seemed to have other ideas.

When it came down to it, between all those comments asking when Megumi was going to find out, and the temptation to make Sano suffer _one last time_, I caved in and wrote this. The three yakuza punks provided the perfect vehicle with which to tell Megumi, and I loved the idea of her using her feminine wiles to... 'extract' the information from them. Poor Megumi doesn't get to do that very often in the series.

Originally, the scene was much more elaborate, but I think that after AJfS, short and sweet works well.

Until next time,

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

_22nd April, 2006_


End file.
